Be, Do, Have: Why Mentoring the Next Generation Is Our Biblical Obligation

Many believe that mentorship is a voluntary act of kindness: a "pay it forward" hobby for those who have extra time on their hands. This is a dangerous misconception. For the Christian Veteran of Color, mentoring is not a choice; it is a debt. It is a spiritual and cultural obligation rooted in the very fabric of our survival and our faith.

In a recent roundtable discussion on the Urban Christian Veterans podcast, Dr. Dennis Rose, alongside retired First Sergeants Reginald Adams and Gregory Henry, pulled back the curtain on what it truly means to lead the next generation. They didn't just talk about career advice; they spoke about the "Be, Do, Have" framework and the profound moral duty to provide the "answers to the test" for those walking through the minefields of modern life.

The Weight of Obligation vs. Responsibility

We often use the words "responsibility" and "obligation" interchangeably, but in the context of leadership, the distinction is vital. As Mr. Adams pointed out during the discussion, a responsibility is something you are accountable for: a task you are charged with. An obligation, however, is a binding moral or legal force. It is a debt that must be settled.

For Veterans of Color, this obligation is amplified by our history. We did not have the same "head start" as other groups in America. We had to navigate systemic hurdles, racial bias, and the complex psychosomatic responses that come with serving a country that didn't always serve us back. If we take that hard-earned wisdom to the grave, we are effectively stealing from the future.

We are part of what I call Urban neo-tribalism. This isn't about primitive structures; it’s about modern tribes built around shared identity, culture, and faith in the heart of the city. In this tribe, the elders, the veterans who have seen the sun rise and set over combat zones and corporate boardrooms, must pass the torch. If the tribe is to survive, the elders must speak.

The Hierarchy of Needs: You Can’t Mentor a Hungry Man

One of the most striking moments of the podcast was Dr. Rose’s story about a young student in a "Gentlemen’s Program" at a high school in South Atlanta. While the executives on stage were talking about career paths and airport management, one young man stood up and spoke a raw truth: "I'm just here to eat."

As veterans, we understand the mission. But as Christians, we must understand the man. You cannot provide spiritual or professional guidance to someone whose stomach is growling. This is where many mentorship programs fail: they jump to the "how-to" before addressing the "right now."

Meeting a basic need: whether it’s food, safety, or simple recognition: is the first step of the mentorship mission. Once that need is met, the "why" can land. As Mr. Adams noted, "Once you address that need, they’ll be more susceptible to hearing what you have to say." We must be willing to get in the trenches and address the immediate crisis before we can talk about the long-term career.

The "Be, Do, Have" Framework

Leadership is often taught in reverse. People focus on what they want to HAVE (the house, the rank, the respect), then they figure out what they have to DO to get it. They completely ignore who they have to BE.

Dr. Rose shared a powerful exercise he uses with "at-risk" young adults. He has them draw three columns:

1. HAVE: What do you want? (Cars, money, stability)
2. DO: What actions are required? (Education, hard work, discipline)
3. BE: What kind of person must you become to sustain that life?

Most people have a full "HAVE" column and an empty "BE" column. Mentoring is the process of filling that first column. It’s about character. If you want to have a position of authority, you must BE a person of integrity. If you want to HAVE a peaceful home, you must BE a man of patience. The internal state dictates the external result. This is a core principle we explore frequently in our discussions on purpose after the uniform.

Walking the Minefield: Providing the Answers to the Test

Life, especially for young men and women of color in urban environments, is a minefield. One wrong step: one legal brush-in, one impulsive reaction, one "moral injury": can blow up a decade of progress.

Mr. Henry used a powerful metaphor during the podcast: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Mentors act as the guides who point out where the mines are buried. "I’ve already experienced it," Mr. Henry said, "I'm going to give you the information because this is one time where it’s not bad to give you the answers to the test."

In the military, we call this a "Left-Seat/Right-Seat" transition. You watch the person currently in the role, then they watch you, and eventually, you take over. Mentorship is the ultimate transition tool. We have a biblical obligation to guide youth because we have already survived the terrain they are just beginning to navigate.

Setting the Tone: Professionalism Without the Noise

One of the most practical challenges veterans face is transitioning their "command presence" into civilian environments. How do you lead without the aggression? How do you command respect without cursing?

Mr. Henry shared a story about setting the tone in a government office where he was the only Black full-time employee. When a colleague had an inappropriate, racially insensitive screen saver, Mr. Henry didn't scream or file a formal complaint immediately. He simply stood there, looked at the screen, looked at the man, and said, "Notify me when my system is ready."

The tone was set. No words were needed. The screen saver was gone by the time he returned.

This is what we call the "anointing" of leadership. It is the ability to change the atmosphere of a room simply by walking into it. It is about having such high standards for yourself that others feel compelled to rise to them. As veterans, we have been trained to handle chaos; as Christians, we are called to bring peace. When those two intersect, you become a leader who doesn't need to flex to be heard. You can learn more about this intersection in our talk on faith and fortitude with Reginald Adams.

The Biblical Foundation for Mentoring

Scripture is the ultimate manual for this "neo-tribal" mentorship. We see it in Jethro advising Moses, in Moses preparing Joshua, and, most clearly, in Paul’s relationship with Timothy.

“And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.” (2 Timothy 2:2)

This is a four-generation vision: Paul, Timothy, reliable people, and others. The Bible doesn't view knowledge as a private possession; it views it as a stewardship. If God has blessed you with the wisdom to survive the military and thrive in civilian life, that wisdom is not yours to keep. It is meant to be multiplied.

A Call to Wisdom

Mentorship is a display of strength, not weakness. Seeking it requires the humility of a student; giving it requires the heart of a servant. Whether you are a veteran looking to pour into the next generation or a young service member looking for a path through the minefield, the time to act is now.

We must stop treating our life experiences as separate from our faith. Your "psychosomatic" battle with PTSD, your struggle with racial bias, and your victory over health challenges are all part of the testimony that someone else needs to hear to survive. This is the essence of navigating faith and service.

Take control of your healing, take control of your peace, and then, most importantly, reach back and pull someone else up.

Join the conversation and find your tribe at urbanchristianvets.com. We are building a community where faith, service, and identity meet. Don't walk the minefield alone.